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The quotes found on this page are perfect for instant messaging names, or your social profiles! These quotes, combined with our funky text generator are sure to make you stand out from the crowd!

Funny Thoughts...
  • If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
  • Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
  • Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
  • Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
  • Does a stealth fighter make noise when it crashes?
  • Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
  • Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
  • What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
  • Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
  • If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
  • He who laughs last...didn't get it.
  • Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
  • We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
  • Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

  • There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
  • Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
  • You have to love yourself before you can love someone.
  • To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.
  • Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
  • At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
  • Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
  • Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
  • Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.
  • There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
  • When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
  • Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul.
  • To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
  • Love is smiling on the inside and out.
  • The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

  • Hard work will beat great talent, if great talent does not work hard.
  • The power of imagination makes us infinite.
  • You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.
  • Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
  • Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway.
  • It is never too late to be what you might have been.
  • Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them.
  • Our lives start to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
  • The harder you work, the luckier you get.
  • Failure cannot withstand persistence.
  • Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
  • The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • If you would create something, you must be something.
  • Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.

  • Years teach us more than books.
  • A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own.
  • A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
  • The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil.
  • To know when to be generous and when firm—that is wisdom.
  • The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind.
  • No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.
  • Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it.
  • A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
  • Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
  • The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotations.
  • The quality of our thoughts is bordered on all sides by our facility with language.
  • Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
  • Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
  • It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.



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